Rose Reiki - Losing Harry

Tonight I learnt that a horse I had been close to for the last two years had died. A silly thing to write about maybe.
I first met Harry two years ago. I'd always ridden, but never been in a financial position to own a horse.
One day I came across Harry through a friend of a friend. She had five horses and Harry had just returned to her farm after being out on loan and she needed someone to ride him.
I jumped at the chance. All it would cost me was new shoes for him. He also came into my life at the right time. My husband had just left me for a second time, I was moving house and in need of something, a pick me up.
Every moment I could I would be at the farm. It was like having my own horse but without the huge financial implications - though that's not to say I did not spoil him. We spent many hours hacking; trying new routes; we went out riding with friends and their horses and had fun.
After two years of horsey heaven, I suffered an injury (a year ago next Sunday). I fell off the mounting block while trying to get on Harry. It put an end to any riding last summer. When I did return mid August I learnt that his owners had made the decision to sell him. I was not in a position to buy him, but even so the news upset me greatly. It felt so sudden. I'd been robbed of riding.
And so nearly a year later, I discovered tonight he had to be put down due to a twisted gut (colic). He was 23 and had led a good life but his new owner felt his age was against him and did not want to risk an operation.
I feel Harry gave me a lot and in return I gave to him too. For the last year I have been carrying around the pain - this sounds so daft, but when I learnt he had been sold I felt like someone had taken part of me away and for the last year I don't think I've really come to terms with it. Tonight I feel at peace. I'll admit I shed a few tears but I do feel very calm as if something has been lifted. I feel I have put closure on this now.
What's really strange, my friend (his previous owner) had been trying to call me a few weeks ago and I hadn't returned her call. At the time I can remember thinking it was bad news and I'd been waiting for a call of this kind. Now it has happened. It's difficult to describe and I feel people will think, "why get so upset about an animal?" But he was more than that I suppose.

Tonight I went back up to the farm to see my friend - the first time I'd set foot there since the day he'd been taken away by his new owner. My friend came to greet me as I got out of the car and I just burst into tears. Then when I went into the barn another horse was in his stable, but as I turned and saw this chestnut head sticking over the door it took my breath away for a second as I thought it was Harry. It was strange being there without him, but at the same time comforting as I felt he'd never left and was sure if I turned he'd be standing at the top of the hill watching. I have some lovely photos of him and I have looked at them and remember the amazing times we've had together. The times that I've cried into his coat or sang silly songs to him when we've been alone, the hours we've shared out in the countryside and the many occasions when he would stop of his own accord just to simply admire a view! These are the magical times and I'll never forget those memories. Tonight I've lit a candle for him and as I sit here I'll admit I'm shedding a few tears again, but in a way they are tears of joy for those moments that I was able to share with him and I feel eternally grateful for those moments.

Someone commented that I obviously felt a deep connection with him, probably beyond what I felt. I think this is true as I know when I was around Harry everything seemed possible and it's almost as if he knew me. x